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Last Activity: 09/10/08 at 03:51 AM |
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Location: Somerville, MA |
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Country: United States |
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Member Since: June 12, 2006 |
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Number of Posts: 1044 |
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Age/Gender: 36 / M |
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Zodiac Sign: Leo |
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Status: Single |
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Sexual Preference: Girls |
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Open To: Friends, Casual Dating, Relationship, Playmates |
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About Me: I am currently in a total transition period of my life, where up is down and I don't know if I am coming or going...lets see what happens on the 29 of june when I see the DR that may end up either curing me, or sending me away |
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Body Alterations: I have 7 tattoo's, my latest is a fleur de lis surrounded by a hurricane symbol on my right wrist to signify all i went thru in Aug-Sept 05 in New Orleans
If this was "Mind Alteration" list, back in the day, (or even a lil over 6 months ago) that list would be long... just being crazy is a good enough trip for now... |
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Favorite Bands: Guns N Roses,
Social Distortion,
Sublime,
Nine inch Nails,
Pearl Jam,
Blind Melon,
Rolling Stones,
the Who,
Black Crows,
CCR,
Johnny Cash,
and basically any thing that rocks out |
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Favorite Movies: All Kevin Smith movies,
Blues Brothers,
Animal House,
Sin City,
Batman Movies,
Better Off Dead,
Say Anything,
Kill Bill 1 and 2,
Slap Shot,
Star Wars,
What's Eating Gilbert Grape,
Goodfellas,
Shawshank Redemption
Shaun of the Dead
Hot Fuzz |
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Random Nonsense: -I wish I was a fish |
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Likes: Anything that helps me forget just what a mess I am
DEVIANT NATION!!!!!! |
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Pet Peeves: Waiting
Wanting
Wasting |
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Pays The Bills: Bartending, Signmaking,Music (back in the day) And best Strip Club Doorman on Bourbon Street when I was there.(last door man ever at SHO BAR, oldest strip club in N.O. till Night before Katrina, It is now a damn sports bar)
Now, I am a leach on my family till i get my head straight |
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Posted: 08/28/08 at 11:41 PM |
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| another shitty anniversary |
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I know I have a lot of people who tell me " You should be happy you are alive" now that it is the 3rd anniversary of Katrina... but I got just a few words to those people...
I wish that the fucking storm wiped me away!!!! I tried therapy, being drug free, changing where I live, changing jobs, and yet NOTHING helps!!!!
I thought that when I met someone in Vegas who meant a whole hell of a lot to me that things would get better, but my situation at the time (as well as a bad drug habit) made things impossible to recover from, and start a life with her.
When I woke up strapped to a bed (and the girl I wanted to make a new life with saw me like that, so that but the kabosh on what I was trying to do in my moments of sobriety) I knew I fucked up, and things would never be as I wanted them to be.
Now, 3 fucking years later, after trying the dr's way (theraphy and perscription drugs that should make me "happy"  ... I can honestly say that I feel no better than I did 3 years ago...
... I still feel hollow
... I still hate society
....I still feel I wish I was wiped out with the rest of the town
I swear I tried to go on the straight and narrow and pick up the pieces... but I am still SOOO fucking lost
I find some sort of refuge in going to the bar 5 nights a week and just drinking till I am oblivious, but that is making my living situation hairy, since I am with my family at this time, and my coming home drunk is making waves big time
The small moments of happiness I find each day are cool, and are what sorta keeps me "strong", but man, they are so few and far between, I feel just like I did 3 years ago when I suposedly "survived" the Hurricane
I swear I know life isn't all peaches and ballons... but it fucking has to be better than this... right? |
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