Killer Vibrators
"What's this?" you think, and your mind begins to wander in confusion. You've most likely just noticed the surprisingly daunting warning label on the package which reads, "Do not use on unexplained calf pain."
Writer:  omniphiliac Aug 23 06
    26 Comments



So you've recently purchased a vibrator or one of those personal massagers for your "neck pain," you've gotten home, settled down comfortably in your bed for some "relief" and you begin to impatiently open the package. "What's this?" you think, and your mind begins to wander in confusion. You've most likely just noticed the surprisingly daunting warning label on the package which reads, "Do not use on unexplained calf pain."

Turns out such "unexplained calf pain" could be a sympton of a form of blood clot known as Deep Vein Thrombosis.

Upon seeing this for the first time, I laughed at the absurdity of only referencing calf pain. Surely if there was problems with using a vibrator on calf pain, it would apply to pain in other parts of the body. However, after some time I noticed that most of the vibrators, ahem, personal massagers, I had come across had this warning label.

After doing a little research, I came across the FDA website stating that all buzzing contraptions for "personal" use must carry this warning. Well, if the FDA says so, it must be true. Granted, while I do have some skepticism against governmental organizations, I will often take their word more seriously than a company that makes cheap plastic vibrating items. So the FDA says using such an item on "unexplained calf pain" is a no-no, but they leave out the why-why. I had asked a few friends who are "well versed" in sex toys and they couldn't come up with an answer either, with the exception of the ever knowledgable in all things sex toys, Sin from Sinsations Adult Boutique in Austin, Texas.

Turns out such "unexplained calf pain" could be a sympton of a form of blood clot known as Deep Vein Thrombosis. Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) is a disease wherein a formation of a blood clot is located inside a deep vein of a lower extremity, i.e. calf or thigh. This clot will restrict blood flow through the vein. A deep vein is necessary for blood circulation to important muscles and in turn is quite useful for bringing blood back to the heart. DVT can be caused by various factors, lack of exercise, injuries, pregnant women are more likely to suffer from DVT, obesity, etc. DVT has most recently become known as "Economy-class syndrome," due to the cramp seating arrangements in economy class airplane sections. By sitting with your legs bent and cramped up for hours on end, some run the risk of suffering from DVT.

So the FDA says using such an item on "unexplained calf pain" is a no-no, but they leave out the why-why.

So what does this have to do with vibrators? By applying your favorite little powerful vibrating stick to this area, you run the risk of breaking the blood clot from the wall of the vein and moving through the blood stream. Sounds bad, doesn't it? Why yes, it does. This silly little blood clot can enter in to an artery or even in to your lungs causing a pulmonary embolism. In laymens term, you gonna die sucka! If you do have "unexplained calf pain," then the best thing to do is, say it with me kids . . . go see a doctor. That's right.

In the meantime, keep using those personal massagers on the parts of the body where they belong . . . your sore neck after a long day of work.


(26 comments)
 Page: 1 2 
xeb  -  Fine Artist
 
Lacon, IL
F - Attached
Posted: 03/05/07 at 03:23 AM 
I've never actually noticed those warnings. Great article though thank you.
omniphiliac  -  Writer
 
San Francisco, CA
41 / M - Attached
Posted: 03/06/07 at 06:30 PM 
Thanks! It's not on the all of the vibrators, especially the newer, better quality ones.
Sin  -  Model
 
Austin, TX
41 / F - Other
Posted: 03/05/07 at 06:10 PM 
Thats fucking awesome!  I no understand and can explain it to my customers - thank you sir!  hahah
omniphiliac  -  Writer
 
San Francisco, CA
41 / M - Attached
Posted: 03/06/07 at 06:33 PM 
Thanky!! Shh, you've always been able to explain it to your customers
Laputa  -  Photographer
 
Atlanta, GA
41 / F - Single
Posted: 03/06/07 at 02:39 PM 
lol.  i had never noticed that....but seeing as how i know how to use a vibrator....i don't spend much time with the paper that comes with it.
omniphiliac  -  Writer
 
San Francisco, CA
41 / M - Attached
Posted: 03/06/07 at 06:34 PM 
Heh, makes sense. They are pretty damn self-explanatory (except a few german ones where the user-interface is bizarre and looks like a slot machine).
Seles_Grave
 
Rome, GA
F - Attached
Posted: 03/08/07 at 04:49 AM 
just like things to do that, they give us so much pleasure then they can also just up and freakin kill us!
Bitch
 
Orlando, FL
43 / F - Married
Posted: 03/09/07 at 08:27 PM 
I've never bothered to read the documentation that comes with a vibrator, very interesting.
LadyJ
 
Edmonton, AB
43 / F - Single
Posted: 03/11/07 at 09:11 PM 
shit!!! I just had unexplained leg pain the other day and used a massager on it. But, I am still around. Thanks for the tip!!
omniphiliac  -  Writer
 
San Francisco, CA
41 / M - Attached
Posted: 03/11/07 at 09:37 PM 
I think the chances of this happening is pretty slim, but at least good enough to be informed about!
EnidBlank  -  Model
 
Ironton, OH
39 / F - Married
Posted: 03/12/07 at 10:50 PM 
huh. i was expecting something about phthalates (sp?) nice article, as always.
omniphiliac  -  Writer
 
San Francisco, CA
41 / M - Attached
Posted: 03/15/07 at 05:23 PM 
Phthalates are definitely a big concern. The awesome thing though is it seems like a lot of sex toy manufacturers, Adam & Eve specifically, are phasing out any and all toys that have phthalates in them!
Bathory
 
Bellaire, OH
36 / F - Attached
Posted: 03/19/07 at 02:22 PM 
When I buy vibrators I buy them for one purpose only.
Renshai27
 
Minneapolis, MN
54 / M - Single
Posted: 07/11/07 at 07:02 PM 

Several years ago I made a T-Shirt that said "Do not use if experiencing unexplained calf pain".


I was always fun to see who laughed when they read it.

omniphiliac  -  Writer
 
San Francisco, CA
41 / M - Attached
Posted: 07/12/07 at 12:36 AM 
haha, brilliant move. I oughtta get a t-shirt like that too.
Solyria  -  Model
 
Willow Spring, NC
37 / F - Married
Posted: 07/20/07 at 03:39 AM 
That's a rather insane but a useful piece of information to know! Most physicians worry about DVT in air plane pilots and crew chiefs, because they sit in one position for such long periods of time and that makes them more likely to form those nasty clots. A lot of soldiers after making that wonderful air ride over to Iraq are regularly checked for these icky things. I've heard they're not very fun, never thought you could get one from trying to have some fun!

And this is just an odd thought but kind of funny: At hospitals, you see a lot of patient educational posters about DVTs. They suggest things like moving your legs around and trying not to stay in one position for too long, all of these preventive measures to take so you don't develop a DVT. I wonder if I wrote to them they'd be willing to add a caption "And for all you freaks out there, beware of killer vibrators!"

Great article. XD;;
 Page: 1 2 


Latest Features
Eon McKai: Porn For The Rest of Us

A Beautiful Kind of Ugly

The Tiger Lillies

Kraig Grady: Anaphoria

(Hed)pe

I Am Ghost

Applegeeks

Battle Circus

Kottonmouth Kings

Paul Booth: The Art Fusion Experiment

Unsustainable Stance: Henry Rollins Interview

Latest CD Reviews
Deconbrio - Obsessions of a False Idol

Tucker Max - I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

Slipknot - All Hope is Gone

Mitch Hedberg - Do You Believe in Gosh?

The Tiger Lillies - Seven Deadly Sins

Palahniuk - Rant: The Oral Biography of Buster Casey

Scars on Broadway - Scars on Broadway

She & Him - She & Him: Vol. 1

Mike Doughty - Golden Delicious

Enter Shikari - Take To The Skies

remember   
forgot password  |  join


Mag - Features:
• Eon McKai: Porn For The Rest of Us
• A Beautiful Kind of Ugly
• The Tiger Lillies
• Kraig Grady: Anaphoria
• (Hed)pe

Mag - CD Reviews:
• Deconbrio
• Tucker Max
• Slipknot
• Mitch Hedberg
• The Tiger Lillies

 

 
 
  > The Girls   > Forums   > Community   > Groups   > Magazine   > Info   > Nation   > Help   > Affiliates   > 18 U.S.C. Section 2257 Back To Top  
Copyright © 2003-2022 Deviant Nation. All rights reserved.